Culture: Extra Credit - Week 3

DAILY PRAYER:  Lord, change my heart to look more like yours.

Extra credit is different this time because it will be two weeks before we will meet again.  So, since we have a little time on our hands, I want to challenge you to spend some time learning about God's truths in a different way.  PLEASE stay in His word daily!  I Timothy 6 would be a great chapter to focus on.  I want to challenge you to do at least 1 of 3 things:

                 1. READ TRUTH!

Tons of people read during the holidays especially if you are traveling.  So, here are some great reads that speak truth to our topic of culture.

Radical by David Platt
Radical Together by David Platt
The Heavenly Man by Paul Hattaway
Jumping Through Fires by David Nasser
I Never Thought I'd See The Day by Dr. David Jeremiah
Revolution In World Missions by K.P. Yohannan
Leadership And Self-Deception Getting Out of the Box by The Box by The Arbinger Institute
Crazy Love by Francis Chan
Kisses From Katie by Katie Davis and Beth Clark

               2. WATCH TRUTH. . . OR LISTEN
Check out a couple of podcasts! I enjoy watching these while I'm cooking or working in the kitchen.

www.brookhills.org
On the homepage click at the bottom where it says "weekly teachings".  Next page on the right it will say "weekly teachings" and you can choose "video" or "audio".  The page will have a list of sermon titles and dates. 

Check out

• The Gospel and Materialism 10/9/11
• The Gospel and Materialism 10/16/11 - you will enjoy the interview with Katie Davis

http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/living-proof-with-beth-moore/listen/

On the left side of the page click on "broadcast archives".  Then scroll down to June 14, 2010; June 28, 2010,   Check these out -- I heard them a long time ago, but I think they apply.

               3. PRAY TRUTH

Take just a minute each day of the holidays to pray a truth to Jesus  . . . such as . . .
"Lord, I know you created me for your glory and not my own.  Help me desire You above all things."
"Lord, help me to resolve myself to follow you just as Daniel did in Babylon."
"Lord, help me to resist the temptations that get in the way of my devotion to you."

I am proud of you for hanging in there with us during the holidays!  Stay strong, sweet friends!  We are almost to the end of the month.  Resolve not to give in.  It's only a few more days.  Remember your little black books.  You might read or hear something in the "Extra Credit" that you can jot down.  I can't wait to hear what you all have to share on Wednesday the 30th.  Happy Thanksgiving to you!  May we truly be thankful for Him!

Love you friends!
Amy Harris

Raising Godly Kids in Today's Culture with Stacy Mintz

Parenting includes every emotion known to man - from exhilaration to exhaustion, pride to panic, frustration to pure fascination - the list could go on and on because each new day and each new stage brings something new.  But the one remaining constant from newborn to adulthood and beyond is the responsibility God gives us to not only set a good example for our children but to train them up to be able to live IN the world but not be OF the world while being a light TO the world.  It is a HUGE responsibility.  One we cannot take lightly.   Here are some highlights from the hints Stacy Mintz gave Titus 2:4 Women when she spoke.

HIGHLIGHTS FROM STACY''S HELPFUL HINTS:

1. Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Seek, listen and obey.  Most of these issues are 'disputable' matters without clear directives in Scripture stating it is right or wrong.  It can vary for each home and each situation.  (Permissive versus beneficial)
2. Do NOT give in to "peer pressure" - it exists even in Christian parenting circles.  Just because every other child is going to that movie or reading that book doesn't mean it is right for your child.  Remind them that you love them.
3. In the Mintz home, no R rated movies.  Pretty much, no PG-13 movies until you turn 13; then it is a case by case decision.  The couple of PG-13 movies they saw prior to age 13, one of us would go to the teater and watch it firt before giving our permission.  Honestly, it was a pain in the neck, but God has given them into our are to guide and to guard their hearts and minds. Redbox and 'fat forwarding' is great, although it can provide a license to rent movies you probably shouldn't
4. Give yourself permission to invest in guarding and training your kids spiritually.  Great books, DVDs,, CDs do cost money...and often are not available at the library.  Most parents have no problem writing a check for several hundred dollars to a soccer league since their child will be a star, invest financially int he spiritual development of your child also.  Swap with other moms.
5. Prepare your child to conbat the culture.  Prior to sleepovers, give them a 'code or/phrase' they can use with you if they feel uncomfortable and need to come home.  Practice with them what to do if they get in an inappropriate situation.  Tell them to call you if they are unsure about a movie.  
6. Middle school/teenage years especially, try to keep on hand books and movies that are appropriate.  Group of kids will be over and want to watch a movie.  I stock up on books when Lifeway has their sale.  (Think creatively: old movies, Ghost and Mr. Chicken/ Bella ...)
7. Shopping/Materialism:  Shopping can become a "hobby" for kids, which wastes time and money. Starting in the middle school years, be proactive.  Before leaving the house, ask them to make a list of what is needed.  Ask them to decide what is a reasonable amount to spend on each item.  tick to the lsit.  Pray aloud with the child that God will direct your time and energies on the way to the stores or as soon as you arrive.
8. If our kids can learn alagebra in school, then they have the ability to learn Hebrews in church.  Set your expectations high for your kids.  Expose them to men's/women's conferences/Bible studies at an early age (middle/high school).  When I carpooled (middle school/high school), my kids listened to Family Life with me everyday at 7 am on the way to school.  Unless it was a topic like intimacy, they listened...even if marriage or something.
9. Parents of boys: pray for wisdom when it comes to decisions regarding sports.  Try to keep an eternal perspective with regards to time and money to invest.  I have met MANY parents who see SPORTS as the answer for the child in terms of popularity, fitting in with other kids, staying out of trouble...when the tru answer to security is Christ.  
10. Guard against our culture's "superkid" mentality that results an overscheduled kids with stressed out moms who have to prepare them by starting piano lessons at 4 years old to ensure they get into the "best" school in order to land the "perfect" job".  Your children are only in your care for a limited time; one day, you will wish that you had spent more downtime with them.  
11. Teach your kids to be selfless by serving others -- coounteract the 'me" mentality.  Let them volunteer at Fall Festival for an hour, work at Jessies's Place, visit a nursing home, help out at church etc.  Ask Pastor Chuck if there is anything they can do to help.

by Stacy Mintz

God Says...That's Who!

^{We all experience it...young...old...man...woman...boy...girl...Christian...and nonChristian --the effects of  our society's culture.  It is the driving force behind the power of peer pressure that dogs every age, race, gender and social status known to man. This societal norm  - or as our kids so aptly put it what "everyone else" is doing - dictates what is acceptable and unacceptable, what is successful and unsuccessful ... the list is endless. And you really can't blame them in a way for being charmed  by the world's allure for everywhere you look our society seems to be campaigning not only for their attention but for ours as well.  This is why we are studying Culture on Wednesday nights - so we will stop and ask ourselves that important question, "Who says?"  Who really has the right to set the standard?  What does it really mean to be happy and successful?  Well, actually, God does!}

 ^{Stacy Mintz spoke last Wednesday night about our role as parents in today's culture.  As I was studying my notes later in the week, I remembered an incident over 20 years ago that happened with my son - our oldest child.  I went to pick him up after school one day, and he flung himself into the backseat with tears streaming down his face.}  

^{"Mom, you gotta teach me all the bad words!" he blurted out.}

 ^{Well, his dad and I had worked hard to guard his precious little 6 year old mind from learning any such thing so my first thought was, "Absolutely not!" but there was obviously more to this story so I asked him why.  It seems he had been sitting with a group of boys a lunch who had been using some foul language.  Wanting to fit into the crowd, Kyle had joined in.  When the lunchroom monitor walked by, the other boys knew to stop, but poor Kyle did not.  When he tried to explain that he did not know that he was saying a bad word, he got into even more trouble for lying because the lunchroom monitor and teacher could not believe that he would not know that particular word.  My poor, sweet innocent child had spent a very traumatic afternoon being punished for not one but two things he did not do - but that our culture's standards dictate could not be possible.  Even when I went to try and explain to the teacher that he was telling the truth, she was skeptical that this was even possible.  I think this illustrates peer pressure on several levels: Kyle, of course, to talk inappropriately and to lie, Me, as his parent, to teach him words I didn't want him to learn, and the school personnel who had a strict mental image of how a 6 year old boy acts.}  

 ^{Unfortunately, incidents like this are going to happen in our children's lives.  In fact, they only grow and get more and more serious as they get older.  But this just demonstrates the importance of our role as parents in the lives of our children.  This was the foundation of Stacy's discussion with us.  We cannot wait until the situations arise.  We must seek God's guidance, plan, and act before society - or Satan - raises it ugly head and attacks.  Our culture would like us to think their way is the only way to live, but the TRUTH is God's way is the only way.  Who says?  God says!  And as parents we have a responsibility to not only live that out and set an example for our children but to train them up to be able to live IN the world but not be OF the world.}

^{Stay tuned - my next blog will give you Stacy's wonderful Biblical advice on how to do that.}

^{Robin Kelley
copywritten by Robin Kelley, used with express permission}

Culture - Extra Credit Week 2

DAILY PRAYER:  Lord, change my heart to look more like yours.

Day 1:
Daily Prayer - Lord, change my heart to look more like yours.
Read:  Matthew 7:5 and Luke 6:42

Last week we talked about the fact that we need to resolve ourselves to follow God in our own culture so that we can be a light and Godly to others.

Stop and pray and ask the Lord what planks you need to remove in order to be used by Him in our culture.


Day 2:
Daily Prayer - Lord, change my heart to look more like yours.
Read: Proverbs 18:21

If you have used your words inappropriately, please say a prayer of forgiveness.  How can you use your words for life today?  Is there someone you need to encourage or speak a loving word of truth to?


Day 3:
Daily Prayer - Lord, change my heart to look more like yours.
Read: James 3:1-9

What stands out to you in these verses?


Day 4:
Daily Prayer - Lord, change my heart to look more like yours.

Read: James 3:6

What is the source of the tongue when it is used like fire? _  _  _  _  (One 4 letter word.)

Read  Acts 2:3-4
Where is the source of these tongues of fire?

Our tongues can be used for heaven's purposes or hell's.  The tongue is hard to tame as we read yesterday.  We will never be perfect, but we certainly can be better.  Say a prayer of resolve to commit your tongue to the purposes of heaven.



Day 5:
Daily Prayer - Lord, change my heart to look more like yours.
Read: Exodus 14:14


Ask God to help you trust Him enough and His mighty power to do a mighty work while you remain in silent obedience against the spread of evil for the protection of His bride.


If you want a little something more to read, try the book of James.  It is not very long -- just 5 chapters.  I believe you will see lots of relevance and challenges for what we face in our culture today.


submitted by Amy Harris

"I Will Not Defile Myself"

"But Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself..."  Daniel 1:8a

Wednesday night as Amy Harris introduced November's study on Culture, I was transported back to my childhood - to a time when many of my classmates were discussing the show Soap at school.  I wanted to be able to join in their conversations and feel like a part of the "crowd" so I asked my parents for permission to watch the show.  Now, I knew the answer before I even asked the question - absolutely not.  There was no need for discussion.  There were topics portrayed on the show that my parents did not approve of; therefore, they did not see any benefit from any of us watching it.  

We read and discussed Daniel 1 Wednesday night where Daniel and his friends were captured and taken to Babylon to be slaves to the king.  They were not asked to do hard labor.  They were not given horrendous or menial tasks to do.  They were simply asked to eat the rich food the king sent them from his own table. Sounds down right horrible, doesn't it?  "Here, Daniel, eat this wonderful food the king has sent you straight from his very own table - food prepared as though it were prepared for him and not for slaves."  I mean typically you would expect slaves to be getting slop or bread and water, right?  This sounds like the royal treatment!  Most of the slaves agreed and had no problem doing as they were told.  Daniel, however, stood his ground.  God had given Him a directive as to how he should eat and how he should conduct himself, and Daniel was unwilling to compromise on that at all.  In the end Daniel and his friends not only found favor in the eyes of God but in the eyes of the king as well who found them "far superior to all the other young men."  Because Daniel was faithful to God he "gave (him) knowledge and skill in both books and life.  In addition, Daniel was gifted in understanding..."

As I have reflected on this lesson, I have been convicted.  Daniel did not compromise God's directives one bit for to do so would have given Satan a stronghold to weaken him in every area.  So I have to ask myself the tough question: have I compromised God's standard for me?  Once upon a time a show like Soap was off limits without any discussion.  What about today?  What is the standard set for today?   I cannot allow the culture of today's society to dictate my standards for me.  I must "resolve that I will not defile myself." for to do so is to obey God in every aspect of my life.  I owe Him no less!

I Want to Seek God...But How?

Originally posted on October 19, 2011

Whew….as a woman I often feel worn out. I bet you do too at times. So, once we’ve taken care of the kids, fed the dog, loved our husband, cooked dinner, cleaned the house and the clothes….how do we find time for God? I’m sure we’ve all said those “pop corn” prayers along our day but how do we find quality time with God? We want God in our lives. Goodness knows we feel the need for God in our lives…..but how?

I am delighted to have found the “Yes, but how lady” (YBH), Mrs. Elizabeth George!  Elizabeth has written numerous books on how women can live Christian lives. I feel so fortunate to have found her book,  A Woman After God’s Own Heart. Better than that, there is an entire Bible Study and teaching videos based on this book. I love her very practical tips on how to seek God in my daily life amid my long “to do” list.

So, when we decided to commit a month long study to the topic of how to seek God in our daily lives, I immediately turned to the “Yes, but how lady”! Here are a few pointers that we have learned so far:

1.  We need to have a heart for God’s word

• YBH? Pray that God will give us a heart for His word. HE WILL!!!!
• YBH? We have to put 1^st things 1^st.   Life management is really spiritual management.

a. We never waste time when we are in God’s word.  2 Tim 3:16

b.  First Time – Put 1^st things 1^st . Honor the Lord with the first fruits of our time. Prov 3:9

c.  Early Time – Spend time with the Lord early in the day just like the examples we see in God’s word: David – Psl 63:1; 5:3    Abraham – Gen 19:27   Jesus – Mark 1:35

•  YBH?

a.  Refuse to miss a day of reading God’s word

b.  Be a woman of one book – The Book!

c.  Beat the family up – Get up earlier than you family for your quiet time.

d.  Purpose to get up  - pray, set the alarm (allow for the snooze if needed)

e.  Open Your Bible!  God’s word will guide you to make you a woman after God’s own heart.

2. We need to be women of prayer.

Blessings we enjoy in prayer:

a. We become women of greater faith. Luke 18:1

•  YBH – Something is better than nothing.

b. We have greater peace. Phil4:6-7; 1 Pet 5:7

• YBH – Identify the number one problem. A problem defined is a problem half solved.

c.  Greater Purity 1 John 1:8-10; 1 Thes 5:17

d.  We have greater confidence in decision making. Acts 13:22; 9:6

            Idea for 3x5 card – Request at top with 4 questions on the card:

                        1.  Why would I do this?

                        2.  Why would I NOT do this?

                        3.  Why should I do this?

                        4.  Why should I NOT do this?

                                    * follow husband’s leadership

                                    *may want to add fasting

e. We have greater contentment. Phil 4:11-19

f.  Greater ministry of prayer. Prayer will make a difference in the history of others people’s lives.

•  YBH

• Pray in priority order (Pray for family first then others)
• Treat prayer time as an appointment

These are great practical tips on ways we seek God in our busy lives through God’s word and prayer. Just remember “something is better than nothing”. Even if you start with only 5-10 minutes each day, that’s a great start!!!!

We would love for you to join us tonight as we talk about spiritual growth….”Yes, but how?”

Written by Amy Harris.

Additional online resources to get started in spending time with God:

1. Hello Mornings - this is an online accountability group, if you need extra help getting your priorities in order.  The fall session is already closed, but another one starts in the Winter.  Instead, you might consider forming your own Valleydale accountability either via email, twitter, or facebook.
2. Check out this book, "Savoring Living Water," by Katie Orr and Lara Williams, if you need something in your hands to help guide you.
3. Visit this webpage, "Do Not Depart," for more resources and online bible studies in Philippians and on Abiding Fruit.
4. Check out the  Bible Reading Sheet found on the Resources Page of this blog.
5. One of our Valleydale ladies is vlogging and writing devotionally verse by verse in the book of Ruth this month here.

8 Provisions for the Worn Out Woman

 

 

From Angela Thomas' series Brave 

1. The Presence of God restores.  Matthew 11:28
2. Sometimes we experience a divine wait before we experience refreshment.
3. Sabbath rest is God's gift to us to restore our bodies and souls.  Hebrews 4:9-10
4. Jesus did not heal everyone or go everywhere.
5. Jesus Himself required physical, mental, and emotional rest.
6. Repentance leads to refreshing.  Jeremiah 6:16
7. If you walk in the good way, there will be rest for your soul.
8. Godly friends restore your soul.  1 Cor. 16:18

Rest for Our Souls

Originally posted on September 30, 2011

Wednesday night at the Titus 2:4 class, we heard from Angie Graves.  She shared on the topic of being worn out.  We watched one of Angela Thomas's videos from her series Brave, which was very insightful on the topic of feeling worn out.

Although I've never read of God telling a joke in the Bible, He sure must have a sense of humor!  Of all the topics, I would get to write on feeling worn out.  I don't know if I've ever felt as worn out as I do right now.  It would wear you out if I just listed all the reasons why I personally feel worn out, so I will spare the details.  :)  We all have reasons to be worn out. God however does not.

Isaiah 40:28 - 31 says:

"Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
   and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

When we are overwhelmed, tired, weak, frustrated, and weary, really the best thing, if not the only thing, we can do to renew our strength is go to God for refreshment.  Like Angela mentioned in her video, there are plenty of other things that we could do that are nice and temporarily bring relief, like a pedicure, for example.  But only One will really satisfy.

As Christians, Scripture says we are like branches attached to a vine, and the vine is Jesus, and the Gardener is God the Father.  As we grow, our branches grow, spread out, produce fruit and leaves, and eventually pieces of our branch will die back, and we will need to be pruned for the next growth cycle.  It is a continuous process:  growing, producing, pruning.  Both growth and producing fruit require a tremendous amount of energy.  The main part of the vine, Jesus, provides us with the food and water which in turn energizes us and allows us to grow and make fruit.

The only way a vine can continue to produce more fruit is if someone, the Gardener, comes along and cuts the fruit.  The only way the fruit will not pull the vine down or rot is if it is picked at the proper time.  Our Father lovingly tends to us and longs to collect the fruit we've produced so that He can carry the load, allowing us to produce more.  As Christians, it is important for us to remember that God tends to the people we've invested in just as He tends to us.  Most vines produce their fruit and then have a season of dormant rest, so not only does He ensure that the fruit does not weigh us down, He requires that we have a season of rest before we grow and produce more fruit again.

I believe rest is a concept many of us don't fully understand, myself included.  However, God's rest is a result of knowing that whatever I do in Him, He is the One who does the real work.  My "work" is submitting to Him. Matthew 11:28-29 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."  We can come to Him in spite of all our baggage and know that He picks up the bags and sets us free from the heavy loads we've carried.

Jesus could heal on the Sabbath because He was the Sabbath.  The Sabbath was just a day of the week set aside to rest.  He alone is our rest.  The feeling of unrest is a call to us as deep calls to deep, saying to our weary souls:  "Come to me, and I will satisfy your need."  God knows when we are worn out just as a mother knows when her baby needs a nap.  As that mother rocks her baby to sleep, so God prepares us for His rest.

"By day the LORD directs His love, at night His song is with me—a prayer to the God of my life."  

Psalm 42:8

Ladies, rest your weary heads in the palm of His hands.  You will find Him the most comfortable pillow and blanket you've ever used; You can rest while He sings His lullaby over you!  You are a most treasured child.

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." Psalm 62:5

by Jamie Harper

Stay tuned for Angela Thomas's 8 Provisions for the Worn Out Woman

What's Your Shape

Originally posted on
September 26, 2011

Now, I don't mean your physical body shape, and I don't mean are you IN shape.  I mean what is your spiritual shape?  Let me explain.

Jamie Hovey did a great job the last two weeks teaching us about balance in our lives: putting God first, our husband second, our children third, and everything else last.  (Of course, if you are not married, God IS your mate, and, lucky you, your mate is perfect!)  She gave us some practical tips for saving time like  cooking up a month's worth of meat at one time and freezing it in meal size bags.  The more time I have spent meditating on her lessons, though, the stronger I feel that all the time saving techniques in the world aren't going to really make a difference if our relationship with God isn't in good shape.

I keep envisioning myself as a stick figure.  (Yes, I know.  Corny!  But bear with me.)  If the body of my stick figure is a circle -  if I am just fitting in time with God whenever or IF I get a chance as I "roll" throughout my day, I'm going to "bounce" around out of control "hitting" one obstacle after another.  If the body of my stick figure is a square and I am trying to give equal importance to every area of my life, I am going to get stuck and not be able to move.  When I finally do get moving, it will take great effort, and I will "clunk" along exhausted and frustrated.  My time with God is there, but it is jumbled up with everything else I have to do on my to do list. Ahhhh, but if the body of my stick figure is a triangle with the tip pointing upward, and the base being my relationship with God, followed by my relationship with my husband, then my children, then everything else....everything is good.  God is my foundation and I am open for Him to fill me up with His Spirit, and as I am filled He covers every area of my life.  My stick figure is then clothed and ready for her day whatever it will bring.  

So what shape are you?  Are you a circle just rolling through your day fitting God in whenever you get a chance?  Are you a square giving everything equal importance with your to do list and God is just one more thing to mark off as "done"?  Or are you a triangle with a foundational relationship with Him open to be filled with His Spirit to cover every area of your life?  When we allow Him to do so, our days are not perfect but they are more balanced for every decision we make, every thought we have, everything we do will be influenced by Him.

"Lord, help me keep you as my foundation today.  Fill me with your Spirit that you may cover every area of my life."

copy right by Robin Kelley

used with express permission

Making Hubby #2

Originally posted on September 21, 2011

Since my last post detailing Jami Hovey's first lesson on Balance, I have been asked more than once how one successfully makes their husband number 2 in their life when there are so many responsibilities and distractions demanding our attention.  I don't claim to be an expert on the subject by any stretch of the imagination; however, I am going to post my thoughts here, and I want you to feel free to add comments as to how you personally give your husband proper place in your life.

First, you need to know a little background.  My husband and I have been married 31 years and have 4 grown children, 1 fantastic daughter-in-law and 1 perfect grandson.  During that 31 years, Stephen has traveled extensively 26 of those years and still does.  To give you a little perspective, our oldest "child" will be 28 tomorrow.  There have been many, many days that the only interaction I had with my husband was 15 to 30 minutes very late at night when he would call and we would discuss family and household business.  Both of us would be so very exhausted by this time, but I looked forward to it all day.

I think we often equate putting our spouse in a place of priority in our lives with spending a major amount of time with him.  Don't get me wrong.  We need to spend time with our husbands, but I contend making them number 2 is as much or more of an attitude issue as a scheduling issue.  Let me explain.  Remember when you first fell in love?  Whenever anything good or bad happened throughout the day, you just couldn't wait to share it with "him".  Right?  Do you still feel that way?  Remember how you would rather spend time with him than go out with "the girls"?  Do you feel that way now?  We must covet that relationship and make a direct effort on a daily basis to let him know that he is the most important person in our lives whether we get to spend just a few quality minutes with him or a few wonderful hours.

Here are a couple of ideas:

1. Remember to pray for him every day.  Don't hesitate to let him know that.  Let him know you are praying for a specific issue he is dealing with that day, etc.
2. Remember to pray with him.
3. Buy a dry erase marker and write "I love you" or "I respect the way you work so hard to provide for our family" or "Thank you for being such a wonderful dad to our children"  etc on the bathroom mirror.  Don't panic.  It will clean off!
4. Write him a love note and put it in his computer case, lunch box, wallet, etc. so he'll find it during the day.
5. Buy his favorite snack and have it sitting in the car for him to find when he leaves in the morning.
6. Text him a message during the day.
7. Look for ways to brag about him to your kids, friends, etc.  - especially in front of him!

You get the idea.  He needs to know you love, respect and  think he is a man above all men!  Yes, you have to make an effort to spend quality time with him, but you can do things in between during your busy days to let him know that he is number 2 in your book.  Use your imagination and your knowledge of what is important to him.

Oh, and by the way, I asked my husband this question before posting this.  You might be interested to know the male perspective in this household anyway was the same as mine!  Have a good day, ladies, and add your ideas of how you make your husband know he is number 2!

copy right by Robin Kelley

used with express permission

"So What Did You Do All Day?"

Originally posted September 18, 2011

It has been more than two decades now, but I can still remember it like yesterday - the day the love of my life walked in the front door at the end of the workday, picked up one of our small children, looked pointedly around the room, and innocently asked a question that has reverberated through my heart and mind every day since...

"So what did you do all day?"

As I stood there vacillating between a flash of indignation and the sting of betrayal, my day's activities raced through my head at warp speed.  While dealing with an onslaught of dirty diapers, dirty dishes, and dirty clothes, I had fed, clothed, rocked, consoled, refereed, played with, cuddled, read to, bathed, taught, sang with and cared for four wonderfully active children.  At the same time I had run errands, picked up an unending rotation of clutter, answered a million questions, and started dinner.  I was exhausted, but I had received a bounty of hugs and kisses, "I love you, mommy's", and precious time spent with four of the most important people in my life.  BUT, I have to admit, though he has NEVER asked me that question again, I often ask it of myself.  I get to the end of my day, look around and can't help but ask myself,

"So what DID you do all day?"  

It's a valid yet often frustrating question because I always seem to have more "list" than I have hours.  This has been true in every stage of my life.  Not long ago one of my daughters wisely told me, "Mom, I think all the women in our family have a tendency to try to be everything to everybody.  We try to do it all."  Unfortunately, she's right.  Everything I have on my to do list  - all my responsibilities - are good things, but I have to ask the hard question, "Are they all things God has asked me to do?"  If not there is no way I am going to be able to balance my day and all that I have to do.  There is no way I am going to be able to do everything to best of my ability to bring honor and glory to God.  So how do I balance it all?  No matter what age or stage you are at right now, the answer is the same:

• Put God first
• Put your spouse second
• Put your children third
• Put your home and it's responsibilities next
• Put everything else last

Read it again.  It's too important to take lightly.  This is God's "formula" to help us take our crazy busy lives and successfully be all He asks us to be - no more, no less.  It goes directly opposite what the world says we should do as a modern woman; however, we must accept that God did not make us to be Super Woman.  We must give our day - our hectic schedules - to God every morning.  We spend time with Him so we will be in tune with Him all day.  He will give us strength and peace that we need to deal with the situations we will encounter, but we have to make the decision that we are going to make our choices throughout the day based on this set of priorities - not what the world says we are entitled to. 

So here is an experiment Jami Hovey gave us to try for the week.  Download this form and mark how you spend your day so you can have a visual picture at the end of the week to show you how you are spending your time.  You might want to even color code it to help you get a more visual picture.  For instance, time spent with God in red, time with your husband in blue, time with your kids in green, etc.  Bring this with you to Titus 2:4 Women Wednesday for part 2 of Jami's lessons on Balance the practical application.  

"God has not given us a spirit of timidity (cowardice), but of power and love and discipline (sound judgment)."

1 Timothy 1:7 

Nor does He give us exhaustion, frustration, and that sense of being so overwhelmed we can't breath.  So let's submit to His will for our priorities and claim that power, love, discipline and all the peace and joy that come with it.  Sounds like a great trade to me!  I can't wait to hear Jami's practical applications Wednesday night!!

Copyright by Robin Kelley

used with express permission

Notes on Encouragement from Amy Harris

 Originally posted September 14, 2011

Below are some notes Amy Harris made on encouragement that you should find helpful as we close out our week on encouragement and begin our study on Balance.  Amy made these notes based on the book A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George.

A good word makes the heart glad. Proverbs 12:25

"With every encounter, make it your aim that people are better off for having been in your presence.  Try in every encounter to give something to the other person."

1.  Take Time to Be Filled:  

• We can't give away what we don't possess.

• If you take time to sit at Jesus' feet and be filled by God's Spirit as you study the written Word, if you focus on overcoming internal obstacles to doing God's work, you will never lack for ministry.  God's fullness in you will naturally overflow into the lives of others.
• Corrie ten Boom had a problem with shyness so she took a Dale Carnegie course to learn to talk to people.  She knew if she could talk to people she could tell them about Jesus
• You have more to give to your neighbor if you regularly place yourself before God and let Him grow you, strengthen you and transform you!

2.  Memorize Scriptures of Encouragement

• "let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt" Col 4:6
• If you are faithful to commit to memory selected gems from God's Word, you'll suddenly find them adding real substance to your conversations.

3.  Ways to Encourage:

Phone Calls - She calls them "sunshine calls"

• Tips - If you have young children at home, tell them you need to make a phone call and ask if they need anything before you call.  It shows your children that they are your primary concern but what you are doing is important so they are not to interrupt.
• Ask the person you are calling, "Is this a good time to talk or would you like me to call you back?"
• If they don't answer, leave a cheerful message and let them know you are thinking about them and will call them back.
• She usually makes her calls around 5:30 pm and says, "I know you're about to eat and so are we but I haven't seen you lately, and I just had to give you a quick call and make sure you're all right."  If there is a difficulty, I make an appointment to call back at a time when we can have a more lengthy and meaningful conversation.

Notes of Encouragement

• This works for handwritten notes or email but there is a much more personal element to a handwritten note.
• Tips - set aside a slot time in your week for the express purpose of writing notes.
• Basic How To: 3 sentences........

1. Sentence #1 - conveys I miss you, I appreciate you, or I'm thinking of you
2. Sentence #2 - let the reader know they are special to you and why
3. Sentence #3 - says I'm praying for you and includes a verse you are praying for them

• You can keep a folder with you with note cards, stamps, etc. to write notes as you are in carpool line, waiting at the Dr. offce etc.

Spiritual Gifts to Encourage Others

• Serving, mercy and giving - each is a specific spiritual gift, but each is also commanded of us as Christians.  And each was carried out and modeled for us by our dear Savior, in whose steps we are to follow.

Live It Out:

• Everything we do or don't do teaches.
• Others can watch you and be encouraged in their own quest to follow God.

The Heart of Titus 2

Originally posted September 11, 2011

“Have you ever been discipled?” my friend asked me some 12 years ago.

Honestly, I did not even really know what that meant. “Discipled?” I’ve been in the church since before I was born and received Christ as my Savior when I was about 10 years old, but I had never heard of “discipling someone”. To be honest, I felt a bit embarrassed that I had never heard of this before, but God had a plan even then for what you are about to read.

So what is this exactly? Well, the best way I know to explain it is that it’s a friendship similar to the friendship Jesus had with His disciples….thus the name. There is usually one person who may be further along in their walk with Christ who sort of leads the other person(s) in various ways to grow in their own spiritual walk. They just have a friendship where they intentionally use their time together to grow closer to Christ.

That’s the heart of Titus 2:4 Women! It’s a place where ladies of all walks and seasons can come every week. Everyone has experiences that can help others grow.  Everyone can encourage someone else….with a hug, a note, scripture or a kind word. We laugh together; we cry together; but above all else we grow closer to God and one another. This isn’t a class about homework or a particular study. This is a class about relationship! Primarily it’s about growing our relationship with Christ and secondly growing our relationships with one another.

The verses around Titus 2:4 speak about investing in the lives of others by example and teaching so that we may live Godly lives. This is the core of discipleship.

My heart’s desire for this class is that God would allow one-on-one discipling relationships to form within the class so that ladies are meeting outside of class to grow together and encourage one another. We live such fast-paced lives taking some time to “be discipled” or “to disciple” may not be familiar to us but it is the most basic command that Jesus left with us…….”go make disciples”(Matt 28:19).

Just yesterday, I had a conversation with that same friend who said, “You know when we started a discipling relationship some 10 years ago, I had no idea what God would do with your life, but it is amazing to see that the Holy Spirit is the one discipling and leading you now and that’s always the goal”. I can honestly say this relationship has been the catalyst for real spiritual change in my life. In a sense, it is what awakened me to the excitement and thrill of my own relationship with Christ.

So I ask you friend, “have you ever been discipled?” or “who are you discipling?”

We welcome you to Titus 2:4 Women where we are learning and growing together!

Blessings,

Amy

What's Your Ratio?

Originally posted on September 10, 2011

"Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed."  
                                                     Proverbs 25:11b

When our kids were growing up, we had a rule about calling each other names, cutting each other down or making fun of each other  The offenders had to sit down and say two nice things about the sibling(s) they had offended for every one rude thing.  Recently, I found out that this 2 to 1 ratio was probably not nearly enough - though they did seem to learn from it.  A few weeks ago I was listening to a sermon by Jeff Henderson in a series called Life Apps through North Point Baptist Church in Atlanta entitled Life App #5: Encouragement.  He opened his sermon by referring to a recent study by the Gottman Institute that made such a huge impact on me I hope I never forget it.  It is my prayer that I make a concerted effort to be the exception to this "rule".  They said that in the daily conversations of the average person they receive 6 comments of criticisms for every 1 word of encouragement.  Let that soak in for a second.  What a sad commentary on our society!  If this is true, the toxic conversations that course through our relationships aren't reflecting the love of Jesus that we as Women of God are called to portray. In fact, the total opposite is too often the case!  On the flip side, the potential for showering the love of God onto every person we come in contact with is powerful!

I believe our first human response when we hear about this study is to think about the conversations that we receive - that affect us - but in Proverbs 11:25b  Solomon reminds us of a very exciting precept God has built into all of us.  We generally receive as much or more of a blessing when we do for others as they do.  Isn't God great?  But this means we will have to go against our human nature.  When the poisonous chatter around us gets us down, I think we are being challenged to ask God to open our eyes to the people He is putting in our path THAT day so we can change their criticism:encouragement ratio.  This encouragement doesn't have to be a great oratorical  but sincere words spoken from our heart.  From our husbands to our children, from our coworkers to the cashier at the store, from the waitress at lunch to the teacher after school - the ministry of encouragement is limitless!  God knows who they are and exactly what they need to hear, and He will let us in on the secret if we only ask!!

I can't help but wonder what a difference it would make to our homes, our country, our entire society if we as Representatives of God's love and mercy took His challenge to completely reverse this ratio so that the people around us hear one criticism for every 6 or more words of encouragement!  Let's face it, ladies, we all have the gift of gab!  Let's turn it over to God and watch the magnificent ways He uses our words to touch the lives of the people around us!!!!

Oh, and by the way, have I told you how nice you look today?

copyright by Robin Kelley, all rights reserved, used here with express written consent

Welcome! Come on in!

(originally posted August 29, 2011)

I sat in church a few weeks ago looking across the sea of faces in the congregation around me. A thrill ran down my spine as I took a minute to really appreciate what a blessing God has given us with the women in our church.

Oh, what a variety He has created among us! Some of us have logged a few more years of experience than others. Every chapter of womanhood was represented from those who are on chapter 1 and may be unmarried and starting a career to those young wives raising families (or maybe not), to women experiencing empty nests or the joys of being a grandmother. There are women who do or do not have careers, do or do not have families, have lived here for years or are new to the area. Some are extroverts and some introverts, each are talented in different areas, and each has their own fears and temptations, joys and blessings.

BUT we all have some very important things in common - GOD LOVES EACH ONE OF US - so much that He sent His one and only very precious Son to die a very brutal and horrible death on the cross for each and every one of us. For, you see, we all have that in common, too - we are all sinners and needed Him to pay that price for our sins so we can have a daily relationship with Jesus. He desires to have that relationship with YOU! If you have any questions about this and want to talk to someone about it, you can email titus2women@valleydale.org, and we will be happy to discuss it with you!

Not only does God love us, not only did He send His Son for us, but He has blessed us with each other. Titus 2:4 says, "so that they (the older women) may encourage (train) the younger women to love their husbands and to love their children." (NASB) Wow! He knows our needs, and He has blessed us with Godly women who can walk with us through every chapter, teaching, learning, growing, encouraging, interceding, and loving us ... every step of the way through every age and every stage!

That is what the Women's Ministry of Valleydale is all about - and this blog is just an extension of that ministry. It is our prayer that you will be fed and informed, encouraged and loved, welcomed and embraced through this arm of this ministry. And remember, YOU ARE a part of the BLESSING of Titus 2:4 Women God has gifted us with here at Valleydale. We want to hear from you. Feel free to comment on any blog you read here  or email us at titus2women@valleydale.org.

Check in often to see what is new.  There will be blogs about current Bible Studies, Women's Ministry activities - well, you'll just have to stay tuned to see where God leads us!

I look forward to getting to know all of you... both here on this blog and in person at the Women's Ministry events. I am excited about what wonderful things we are about to experience from God's blessing that is the Titus 2:4 Women of Valleydale!

God is soooo Good!

Robin Kelley