Transformed by Grace

I have a question for those of you who read my last post: how long do you think it took? How long do you think it was before I picked my baggage back up?  Well, not long, I’m afraid before…

I fell.

Yes, I laid down my baggage.

And I placed my eyes firmly on Him.

I forgot about the world…for a while…

but I could still hear them calling me

          to meet THEIR demands

          to fulfill THEIR requirements

          to reach THEIR goals.

And then my eyes slipped…

          Down…

                   Down…

                             Down…

until I was no longer looking at Him at all.

I was looking…

at the world – again.

Looking…

          at myself – again…

                   Inept

                   Hopeless

                   Inadequate

          But I couldn’t let THEM see me.

          Not like that.

          Not the REAL me.

So I climbed on a pedestal –

          A pedestal of perfection.

BUT…

          I fell.

And it hurt…

          It hurt my pride.

          It hurt my witness.

                   It hurt the people around me.

                   The people I love.

                   The people I care about.

BUT…most importantly

          It hurt God.

When

    I

      fell.

I couldn’t let Him find me like that.

So I retrieved my baggage of perfection…

                   Complete with my collection of intricate masks

and master disguises …

          And held it close to my chest

                    Like a child clutching a security blanket

                             And hiding . . .

                                      In fear

                                       In guilt

                                       In shame.

Until He called to me…    

MY CHILD, WHERE ARE YOU?

I fell again.

YOU ARE MY MASTERPIECE.

I am unworthy.

YOU ARE MY CHILD!

But, Lord, Remember when I -

NO, DO YOU REMEMBER I DIED FOR YOU?

But I took my eyes off of you.

SEE MY SCARS?

See my sin?

MY GRACE FORGIVES.

But I failed you!

MY GRACE FORGETS.

And I keep failing you.

MY CHILD,

MY GRACE IS REFINING YOU.

IN THE KNOWLEDGE OF MY WORD

IN THE WISDOM OF MY WAYS

SO THAT SOME DAY YOU MAY BE MATURE AND COMPLETE

        SOME DAY YOU WILL BE PERFECT IN MY IMAGE

BUT YOU WILL NEVER BE PERFECT IN THE IMAGE OF THE WORLD.

                       

                              Help me, Lord,

I do not want to walk with the world.

                                       I do not want to listen to their poisonous promises.

                                       I do not want to trust their deceptive disguises.

                              Help me, Lord,

To trade this endless cycle of worldly perfection

                                                For a cycle of spiritual maturity

                                                         to be transformed

                                                                   day by day

                                                                   minute by minute

                                                                   hour by hour

                                                                   decision by decision

                                                                             into Your image.

So I give You

my weaknesses

          And my masks

          And my disguises

                                      

And I CLIMB onto Your lap

To rest

in Your grace.

To trust

in Your grace.

To grow

in Your grace.

To become a pleasing sacrifice

Transformed

Wholly and acceptable unto You.

~by Robin Kelley