Raising Godly Kids in Today's Culture with Stacy Mintz

Parenting includes every emotion known to man - from exhilaration to exhaustion, pride to panic, frustration to pure fascination - the list could go on and on because each new day and each new stage brings something new.  But the one remaining constant from newborn to adulthood and beyond is the responsibility God gives us to not only set a good example for our children but to train them up to be able to live IN the world but not be OF the world while being a light TO the world.  It is a HUGE responsibility.  One we cannot take lightly.   Here are some highlights from the hints Stacy Mintz gave Titus 2:4 Women when she spoke.

HIGHLIGHTS FROM STACY''S HELPFUL HINTS:

1. Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Seek, listen and obey.  Most of these issues are 'disputable' matters without clear directives in Scripture stating it is right or wrong.  It can vary for each home and each situation.  (Permissive versus beneficial)
2. Do NOT give in to "peer pressure" - it exists even in Christian parenting circles.  Just because every other child is going to that movie or reading that book doesn't mean it is right for your child.  Remind them that you love them.
3. In the Mintz home, no R rated movies.  Pretty much, no PG-13 movies until you turn 13; then it is a case by case decision.  The couple of PG-13 movies they saw prior to age 13, one of us would go to the teater and watch it firt before giving our permission.  Honestly, it was a pain in the neck, but God has given them into our are to guide and to guard their hearts and minds. Redbox and 'fat forwarding' is great, although it can provide a license to rent movies you probably shouldn't
4. Give yourself permission to invest in guarding and training your kids spiritually.  Great books, DVDs,, CDs do cost money...and often are not available at the library.  Most parents have no problem writing a check for several hundred dollars to a soccer league since their child will be a star, invest financially int he spiritual development of your child also.  Swap with other moms.
5. Prepare your child to conbat the culture.  Prior to sleepovers, give them a 'code or/phrase' they can use with you if they feel uncomfortable and need to come home.  Practice with them what to do if they get in an inappropriate situation.  Tell them to call you if they are unsure about a movie.  
6. Middle school/teenage years especially, try to keep on hand books and movies that are appropriate.  Group of kids will be over and want to watch a movie.  I stock up on books when Lifeway has their sale.  (Think creatively: old movies, Ghost and Mr. Chicken/ Bella ...)
7. Shopping/Materialism:  Shopping can become a "hobby" for kids, which wastes time and money. Starting in the middle school years, be proactive.  Before leaving the house, ask them to make a list of what is needed.  Ask them to decide what is a reasonable amount to spend on each item.  tick to the lsit.  Pray aloud with the child that God will direct your time and energies on the way to the stores or as soon as you arrive.
8. If our kids can learn alagebra in school, then they have the ability to learn Hebrews in church.  Set your expectations high for your kids.  Expose them to men's/women's conferences/Bible studies at an early age (middle/high school).  When I carpooled (middle school/high school), my kids listened to Family Life with me everyday at 7 am on the way to school.  Unless it was a topic like intimacy, they listened...even if marriage or something.
9. Parents of boys: pray for wisdom when it comes to decisions regarding sports.  Try to keep an eternal perspective with regards to time and money to invest.  I have met MANY parents who see SPORTS as the answer for the child in terms of popularity, fitting in with other kids, staying out of trouble...when the tru answer to security is Christ.  
10. Guard against our culture's "superkid" mentality that results an overscheduled kids with stressed out moms who have to prepare them by starting piano lessons at 4 years old to ensure they get into the "best" school in order to land the "perfect" job".  Your children are only in your care for a limited time; one day, you will wish that you had spent more downtime with them.  
11. Teach your kids to be selfless by serving others -- coounteract the 'me" mentality.  Let them volunteer at Fall Festival for an hour, work at Jessies's Place, visit a nursing home, help out at church etc.  Ask Pastor Chuck if there is anything they can do to help.

by Stacy Mintz

God Says...That's Who!

^{We all experience it...young...old...man...woman...boy...girl...Christian...and nonChristian --the effects of  our society's culture.  It is the driving force behind the power of peer pressure that dogs every age, race, gender and social status known to man. This societal norm  - or as our kids so aptly put it what "everyone else" is doing - dictates what is acceptable and unacceptable, what is successful and unsuccessful ... the list is endless. And you really can't blame them in a way for being charmed  by the world's allure for everywhere you look our society seems to be campaigning not only for their attention but for ours as well.  This is why we are studying Culture on Wednesday nights - so we will stop and ask ourselves that important question, "Who says?"  Who really has the right to set the standard?  What does it really mean to be happy and successful?  Well, actually, God does!}

 ^{Stacy Mintz spoke last Wednesday night about our role as parents in today's culture.  As I was studying my notes later in the week, I remembered an incident over 20 years ago that happened with my son - our oldest child.  I went to pick him up after school one day, and he flung himself into the backseat with tears streaming down his face.}  

^{"Mom, you gotta teach me all the bad words!" he blurted out.}

 ^{Well, his dad and I had worked hard to guard his precious little 6 year old mind from learning any such thing so my first thought was, "Absolutely not!" but there was obviously more to this story so I asked him why.  It seems he had been sitting with a group of boys a lunch who had been using some foul language.  Wanting to fit into the crowd, Kyle had joined in.  When the lunchroom monitor walked by, the other boys knew to stop, but poor Kyle did not.  When he tried to explain that he did not know that he was saying a bad word, he got into even more trouble for lying because the lunchroom monitor and teacher could not believe that he would not know that particular word.  My poor, sweet innocent child had spent a very traumatic afternoon being punished for not one but two things he did not do - but that our culture's standards dictate could not be possible.  Even when I went to try and explain to the teacher that he was telling the truth, she was skeptical that this was even possible.  I think this illustrates peer pressure on several levels: Kyle, of course, to talk inappropriately and to lie, Me, as his parent, to teach him words I didn't want him to learn, and the school personnel who had a strict mental image of how a 6 year old boy acts.}  

 ^{Unfortunately, incidents like this are going to happen in our children's lives.  In fact, they only grow and get more and more serious as they get older.  But this just demonstrates the importance of our role as parents in the lives of our children.  This was the foundation of Stacy's discussion with us.  We cannot wait until the situations arise.  We must seek God's guidance, plan, and act before society - or Satan - raises it ugly head and attacks.  Our culture would like us to think their way is the only way to live, but the TRUTH is God's way is the only way.  Who says?  God says!  And as parents we have a responsibility to not only live that out and set an example for our children but to train them up to be able to live IN the world but not be OF the world.}

^{Stay tuned - my next blog will give you Stacy's wonderful Biblical advice on how to do that.}

^{Robin Kelley
copywritten by Robin Kelley, used with express permission}